Over-Thinker

I always think

That other people 

Think the worst of me.

When I call 

And they don't reply

They hate me.

If a message is a little bit late 

They never want to speak to me again. 

Was their tone different today?

We're they a bit sharper than usual? 

Maybe they are tired of me. 

I am no longer welcome in their life 

Or in their headspace.

We are not friends anymore. 

If they leave I don't care. 

(I do, I really really do: so very very much)

Why would they talk to me anyway?

I'm not a nice person. 

I must have said something wrong. 

I must have offended them in some way. 

Done something bad. 

Hurt them.

Made them mad.

I never know when to stop. 

When to hold back. 

When to step away. 

When to give space.  

I'm too open, too raw, too broken. 

I pour out my heart and soul

In a self-righteous barrage of verbal vomit.

I say too much too soon. 

No brain mouth filter. 

I am too Loud. 

I am too Intense.  

I am too Lost.

I am too Clingy.

I am Too Much. 

I am just too ME. 

Why would anyone stay? 

05/06/2021