Beautiful

I am beautiful 

I am smart 

I am loyal

I am generous 

I am kind

I smile with my eyes

I hold out my hands

Help you stand 

I build you up

I give you everything I am.

And yet ... 

I am lonely 

I am desolate 

My heart twists inside me

I am derision

I am scorn 

I hate myself 

I hate who I am

I am drowning  

Reaching out desperately 

I clutch at straws. 

I always miss. 

There is no one there to save me. No one to help me up. No one there to see me. No one there to hear. I am alone. I am alone. I am alone.

I am all alone. 

So now I keep telling myself

While I smile at you with my eyes
And die a little more inside 

It is all a lie.

I am beautiful 

(I am not)

I am beautiful. 

(I never was)

I am beautiful. 

(I will never be enough)

I. Am. Beautiful. 

18/04/2020