Things I wanted to say but never did. II

Please don’t call me.
Don’t talk to me again. 
You have her now
To love you, to be there for you,
To fix you.
You don’t need me;
Not anymore.
Don’t message.
Don’t reach out.
Please leave me alone. 
Let
Me
Heal.
Let Me Learn 
to live without you. 
Let Me Become Whole.
Please don’t come back. 
I wouldn’t survive you again. 

07/10/2018

Things I wanted to say but never did.

Don’t go

Don’t walk away

I miss you

I

Love 

You
See me.
Choose me.
Love me instead.

Talk to me

Tell me 

Why? 

Why do you hurt me? 

Why is she special?

Why? 

Why did you leave me here all alone? 

Why did you turn away?

4/10/2018

Hard days

The best way to deal with 
Hard days
Is by focussing on 
All the people who love you
All the people who care 
And not
The one person who does not. 

30/09/2018

Mistakes

I broke my own heart 

and tried to use the pieces

to fix yours.

And that was my mistake. 

4/7/2018

One Sentence Story

What they had was magic; then life and love changed, for him.

26/06/2018

Happy Birthday

We used to be so close 

But now we’ve drifted 

apart.

Life has changed.

So have we

I guess.

At first it was a few days 

Then days turned to weeks

Months 

Has it been a year now?

Since we last talked?

But for what it’s worth 

I just wanted you to know

If you need me

Don’t hesitate to call. 

For the sake of who we once were

If not for who we are now. 

23/06/2018

Double Standards

You got so angry

at the thought of her in pain.

But you hurt me

Over and Over and Over again.

20/06/2018

Hollow

There are no words
that will bring me 
peace anymore.
They are all hollow.
Just like me.

15/06/2018

Disclaimer

Please try to be patient 

with me. 

My heart is broken; 

and I’m learning 

how to be happy again.

15/06/2018

Blind

What is the use

of being filled with light

and bleeding color into the world 

if the person that you love 

is blind?

14/06/2018

Burdens

You have to look after 

the cursed ones. 

They have nothing left to lose.  

You’ve been doing it so long 

That you forgot, 

Their curse is effecting you too. 

11/06/18

Worthy

I always fall in love with the wrong person.

The one with the twinkling eyes

Who promises me everything my heart desires

and then fails to deliver.

The one who makes me feel

Like I’m beautiful 

Like I matter 

But only for a short time 

Before they replace me

With another.

I always fall in love with the broken ones

With the big sad eyes 

And the gaping holes in their hearts.

I always think;

This one will be different 

This one won’t hurt.

This one will be more than

The sum of all the others.

But I’m always left heartbroken 

Begging them to see my worth.

I always fall in love with the wrong person. 

People say,

I am worthy of great love

I am worthy of kindness.

I am worthy of laughter and happiness 

of foot rubs and cuddles 

and kisses on the nose.

I am worthy.

Yet I am the only one who needs convincing. 

Because I always fall in love with the wrong person;

The one who promises me the world 
and then burns it down,

leaving me cold, alone, and covered in ashes. 

26/05/2018

A poem in 4 lines (2)

I wish
you could find
your way
out of my head. 

09/03/2018

Bits and Pieces VIII

'I'm just tired'
I mutter.
You say:
'If they want you,
they will not lose you.
That is how it works.' 
But he placed his hands on my mind
before reaching for my waist.
I'd forgotten how much it hurts
to have my heart broken. 
Until I was lying on my bedroom floor
with mascara running down my face
gasping for air
Crying. 
Some days, I feel everything at once.
I feel it in a way that makes me tired to my very bones.
Others, I feel nothing at all. 
Perhaps I don't deserve nice things
because I'm paying for sins that

I don't remember.  
He was the love that came without warning.
He had my heart before I could say NO.
I loved him and forgot the consequences. 
I forgot
People are not good to each other.
People are not good to each other.
People are not good to each other.
And now, it's either be dragged or let go.
I let go.
Because he threw me away.

21/02/2018

My thanks to Rupi Kaur, Nikita Gill, (h.m), visualxpoetry, R.M Drake, s.b, S.Z, and Charles Bukowski for the words.